The Story of Pimp

Once upon a time there lived a little boy. The little boy was called Pimp. Pimp lived with his dog John and his mouse Gerald. One day Pimp was out fishing by the Shiny River, and he caught a magic fish called Fishy. Fishy said to Pimp, "Pimp, I will grant you three wishes." Pimp was excited.

Pimp goes home and talks to John. "John, Fishy told me I will be granted three wishes.". John looks at Pimp and asks, "Why is it always three wishes? Why not two, or four, or for that matter, why not five thousand nine hundred and seventy three wishes?". Pimp starts to cry and says, "I don't know !!". John pats Pimp and says, "Never mind kiddo. This is life. There are always rules. Rules don't change. We live according to a fixed set of rules set by fools. We always get three wishes." This gets Pimp thinking.

Pimp goes to Fishy and says, "Fishy, I want to be able to make my own rules." Fishy the fish smiles and say, "Granted !!". Pimp goes home happy. Now he is his own boss.

Then Pimp talks to Gerald. "Gerald, I have two wishes left." Gerald hardly pays attention to Pimp. He looks at Pimp and says, "Oh go shove your wishes up your ass. I am busy." Pimp asks, "Busy doing what?". Gerald laughs and says, "Hiding you asshole !! Don't you realise? There is always something to hide from !! For me, its a cat !!". After saying that, Gerald runs away. Pimp starts to think again. He realises he is hiding from something too.

Pimp goes to Fishy and says, "Fishy, I want to stop hiding from whatever I am hiding from". Fishy smiles again and says, "Granted!". Pimp goes home. On his way, he realises that he knows himself perfectly now. He knows exactly who he is. Then Pimp realises what he was hiding from.

The next day Pimp goes back to the river. Fishy is there waiting for him. "Your last wish Pimp?". Pimp looks at Fishy. Then Pimp looks around. He sees the beautiful mountains. He looks past the mountains and sees big cities. In the cities, he sees people going about their lives. Then he looks up and sees the clear blue sky. He looks past the sky and sees the stars, the galaxies. He sees the whole universe. He realises that he is very small and insignificant. He looks down, and takes a deep breath. Then he tells Fishy, "Fishy, I want a grand piano." Fishy smiles and says, "Granted!".

Pimp goes back home. In the middle of his house, there is a large grand piano. John is sitting in a chair nearby, sipping a glass of Chivas Regal. Gerald is nibbling on some Fribourgeois. Gerald loves his Fribourgeois. John loves his Chivas Regal.

Even though he is a little boy, Pimp loves a good glass of scotch, and some good cheese. He realises that Canadian cheese is horrible. He goes and pours himself a glass of Chivas Regal and gets himself a nice block of Vieux Corse. Then he goes by the piano and looks at it. He takes a sip of scotch, and eats a little cheese. Then he puts the glass and plate down. His hands slowly come on the 88 black and white keys, and slowly, the sound of the Appassionata Sonata fills the room. Pimp is happy. Gerald is happy. John is happy.

And somewhere, far away, a pimp is earning $1000 selling favours of his hookers.